My face here.
My problems are solved!
During several conversations about my legal status in Spain (which I rarely bring up myself), I have been offered the following advise: Why don't you just find someone to marry in exchange for residency?
Brilliant! Now all I need to do is find:
1) A man (or woman, since gay marriage is legal here) eager to be used for his or her EU membership, preferably open-minded, interesting, a good conversationalist, attractive, talented, creative, kind, funny, liberal, adventurous, and modest.
2) A desire to treat marriage as a means to an ends.
If anyone knows someone who fits into the former category, and/or has advice on how to adopt the mentality of the latter, please contact me or feel free to forward my number to interested parties. In the meantime, I'll be doing just fine here, starting the process of "empadramiento," which will register me as someone living in Barcelona and start the clock ticking on when I could receive residency. No bouquet toss or passed hors d'oeuvres necessary.
